Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
