The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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