Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
