and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
well, you know. whores of a feather.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
