I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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