Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
