That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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