I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
if only i could text you this smell
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
