that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
