I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
