If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
