If i come over, it means nothing
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
