I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
