I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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