stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
