when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
