and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
