I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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