Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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