Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
