I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
