I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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