He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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