i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
