Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
