she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
