If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
