Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
