her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
