so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
