Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
