I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
