I am puke
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
