did you get engaged???
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
