wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
