That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Randomize
