I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
