you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
