gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
