Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
