so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
