Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
