according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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