they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
