I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
