So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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