69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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