"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
