I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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