____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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