goodnight i made you a song goodbye
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
